Courtship and Marriage Tea Customs in China
By admin on 2014-12-22

Having originated in China, tea is and has been for millennia the nation's most popular beverage. Tea drinking conventions consequently reflect many aspects of traditional Chinese folk culture.

Because the tea plant needs a clean, stable environment to thrive and prosper, Chinese ancients considered it as symbolic of true, lasting, loyal love and happy marriage.  

The scholar Xu Cishu of the early Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) made the observation that the tea plant cannot be transplanted and that it reproduces only from seed. As tea hence symbolizes purity, loyalty and fertility, elaborate tea rituals have been a feature of Chinese folk wedding customs for generations.

Proposal Tea Ritual: xiacha and shoucha

Xiacha and shoucha are the two courtship-initiating tea rituals. The suitor first presents his desired bride-to-be with a packet of xiacha (also called dingcha). If she accepts, he follows through with a gift of shoucha (also called chicha). The first stage of the courtship is thus accomplished. 

Engagement Tea Ritual: dingqincha

Both families having agreed on the match, the next step is the dingqincha ritual, or engagement ceremony. It entails exchanging 12 teapots and red paper packets of scented tea to be presented as gifts to the bride and groom's relatives.

Wedding Tea Rituals: kaimencha, hezhencha and naocha

When the groom's procession arrives at the bride's home to take her to the ceremony, the groom makes obeisance by folding his hands before him and bowing as he enters the house. He continues in this fashion as he walks to the main hall where he meets his parents-in-law. He then performs the kaimencha ritual of drinking three cups of tea.

Hezhencha

Relatives at the wedding ceremony are served tea and red dates, peanuts, longans and rock candy to wish the newlyweds a fruitful union. First the bride and then the groom each drink a cup of tea, or hezhencha, which signifies fulfillment of this major milestone in their lives.

Naocha

The three-day naocha tea ritual after the wedding ceremony is an expression of thanks to relatives and friends. But before the guests can drink their tea the bride and groom must, in theory, correctly recite tongue twisters, play guessing games and answer riddles. 

Post-Wedding Tea Rituals: xinniangcha, xiemeicha, qinjiapocha and dajiejiacha

The wedding ceremony over, there are four more tea rituals to perform. First and most important is the bride tea ritual, or xinniangcha. The day after her wedding, the bride gets up early and respectfully serves tea to her parents-in-law. They, in turn, present her with a hongbao, or red envelope containing money. Under her mother-in-law's guidance, the bride then serves tea to relatives, family friends and neighbors, who also present her with hongbao.

Xiemeicha is the expressing of thanks to the matchmaker ritual, when either the newlyweds or their parents present him or her with tea in gratitude for arranging their happy union.

The maternal parents visit their daughter's new family the day after the wedding, bringing with them the qinjiapocha gift of tea. They later also present packets of tea, or dajiejiacha, to relatives and neighbors of both families.

The "No Thank You" Tea Ritual: tuicha

Tea plays a ritual role in breaking off engagements as well as cementing them. In old Guizhou it was customary for young women unwilling to proceed with a proposed marriage to steal out in the middle of the night and leave a packet of tea, or tuicha, at the rejected suitor's home. After leaving the tea, the freshly liberated lady would hurry home. Unwilling brides needed to catch the proposing family unawares when leaving their packet of "no thank you" tea. The suitor's family kept out a watchful eye on their threshold for unwanted gifts. Any luckless maid caught in the act would be forced to marry the man she did not want. Consequently a young woman who outwitted both matchmaker and proposers was admired throughout her village. Parents of these spirited women were expected to return their betrothal gifts to the unsuccessful suitor's family.