Dressing for an awards ceremony
By admin on 2014-12-29

Attending an awards ceremony in Beijing this week, I couldn't help but notice that despite it being relatively-high profile, there was an outstanding number of people who had absolutely no idea how to dress for such an occasion, so I thought I would prepare a short what-not-to wear list for future reference.

1. No parkas – on no occasion whatsoever is it OK to accept an award wearing a parka. This is doubly the case if the parka is obnoxious red or lime green in color with fluffy attachments that do not, in anyway, go with anything else that you are wearing. It is also beyond out of the question if it is above 25 degrees inside.

2. No hoodies – stripy cardigans, spotted tracksuit tops and anything sporting a hood, is a no go. T-shirts with pictures of Mickey Mouse, Hello Kitty and/ or Snoopy, are also not an op-tion.

3. Knee-high boots and hot pants – unless the awards have something to do with the adult entertainment industry, accepting your award, or in fact even attending an awards ceremony, dressed like you are about to walk the beat, is not a great idea. Drawing extra attention to yourself my means of tight gold spandex shorts is also unacceptable as it truly does boarder on pornographic.

4. Bright purple leggings – the whole concept of purple tights is a bit weird unless you are 8 years old or a punk. If you are a 20-something business representative at an awards ceremony, think twice about this choice, especially when considering teaming them up with gold sneakers and a baseball cap on backward.

5. T-shirt dresses – T-shirt dresses are out and apart from a thankfully small window of acceptability in the 1980s, they always have been. Wearing this item of clothing is beyond reproach and if you own a T-shirt dress and it has an open back and bows that are attaching the fabric together, please think very carefully about going out in public, ever.

6. Forgetting to wear pants – if your shirt, sweater, blouse or T-shirt barely covers your backside, you must wear pants. While most people take this rule as a given, there, evidently, are plenty that do not. Any kind of pants will do, or perhaps a nice skirt. If you are walking up on stage to accept an award and you have forgotten to put on a pair of pants, jeans or a skirt, the overall effect may not be the one that you were aiming for.

7. High heels – you must be able to walk in order to wear high heels. If, when moving forward, your feet are scraping and making noises across the ground, that is not walking, it is scuffing. If you have not mastered how to put one foot in front of the other and walk, do not attempt to wear high heels. If you think you have mastered this art, then please wear high heels that fit properly and remember to practice, a lot.